Monday Monday: Plane Crashes and Fake Springs

Get clocked in cause we’re back in the office for another beautiful Monday. By beautiful I do mean as beautiful as a midwestern February Monday can be. Around this time of year every Chicago-based cringe Instagram or 43-year-old Facebook reposts like to call “Fake Spring” You see, every February in the midwest has a couple days of like 50-60 degree weather which is just enough of a ball tickle to get you to think the weather is changing. You get the golf clubs out, put away the ice scraper and break out the short sleeves for a few days of glory. Fake Spring in college was always a glorious time full of broken cabin fever and day drinking, and it gave everyone that feeling like being in love for the first time. But sadly, these times don’t last and soon enough we’ll be back inside with nothing but dark liquor and Jack’s pizza. 

Enough about the weather - how bout them plane crashes?! Shit’s crazy. I don’t know what the hell is going on but the media is having a field day (days?) with what seems like a plane falling out of the sky every day. One of the most recent comes after a Delta plane crashed while landing at a Toronto airport. The ole gal hit hard, flipped over, tossed a wing off and even turned upside down. Luckily everyone involved was (relatively) OK. The big story from this one is that Delta has already made the traumatized passengers an offer - $30k each for their pain and suffering. $30k for surviving a plane crash?! I don’t know what you guys think, but those are rookie numbers. If I survive a plane crash in one of the big 3s plane’s I’m looking for $100k EASY. Hell, make it $200k if we’re being honest. Delta better get the big boy checkbook out, cause in Slim’s book $30k aint even close. 

That leads me to my burning question of the week - if you survive a plane crash, are you ever flying again? I really don’t know if I could. And before you nerds come at me with your calculators and statistics - yes, I know that the odds of being in two plane crashes is basically zero. BUT STILL could you really force yourself back on a plane after surviving an ordeal like that?! I think I’d take my fat settlement from Big Airplane and use some of it to buy a nice RV and just roadtrip anywhere I need to go.

How’s everyone doing? Nerds, drop me some fun statistics in the comments. 

With Love, 

Slim